Have I lost the plot?

A 6-month break in Spain, 4 well paying job offers in Dubai on the table, yet all I can think of is moving back to Spain and writing. Have I lost the plot?

A good friend of mine thinks I’m afraid of getting back to a job here, because I think I will like it and get sucked back in, and then not go to Spain again.

Friends are getting promoted, traveling the world business class for work, investing in houses, climbing their career success ladders, driving BMW’s.

I quit that life and am learning Spanish. Why? Because that’s what I want to do. Why? It’s fun. What will I do with the language? no friggin’ clue.

I have a bit of money in the bank, and I believe that if you are educated, have common sense and a drive – money will always come in. My objective in life is not to own a Ferrari, or have a house on the beach, or to be a CEO, I just want to live life to the fullest.

People spend all their lives working their asses off, saving money for later. For when exactly? What about now, when we are young, free and kicking? It’s not like we will be on the street if we do what we want now, right?

I guess it all depends on what you want from your life.

It’s difficult for me to get a good job in Spain. Mainly because I’m not fluent in Spanish yet, and nor am I an EU citizen. Work permits and visa regulations put alot of red tape, which if I get through – I wouldn’t even earn 1/4th of what I might get paid here.

So why am I leaving this comfortable job-in-hand haven to live a completely unpredictable and unstable life?

Does it scare me? No. Do I doubt my confidence? Sometimes.

My 4-years in the corporate communications world were fulfilling. And though I still have a lot to learn, the thought of getting back into it – especially in Dubai – is repulsive to me.

If I can afford to do what I want to for another year or so, why shouldn’t I?

If people can make a living, living abroad and writing – why can’t I?

Nothing I have written has been published yet. This could take years. Often I loose my confidence and this little voice inside me says, Abha get real – you had your 6-months of fun in Spain, now get back to reality. Get a job and focus on your ‘career’. Today was one of those days when all I did was read success stories of people who have done what I want to, and have succeeded.

If you don’t try, you will never know. This is what I want to do.

Living abroad, traveling, learning a new language, writing, teaching English does not equal being a bum.

*sigh*

All I know is that if I give up now – I will regret it….

Have I lost the plot?

8 thoughts on “Have I lost the plot?

  1. I dont think so. remember Jerry Mcguire? “If this(heart) is not there this(mind/brain/talent) doesnt work”. its all about passion. all the successes in this world have come only out of passion. this world is god’s( read creators passion). burn the bridges so that there is no way back, meditate to remain focussed and embrace a sport to keep you moving. you do this and then you would never waste a day reading to get inspired. its all within, not outside.

  2. there’s a very thin line between doing what you want to do and running away from responsibilities Abha. Get back to corporate communications, save more funny and get an early retirement after that.

    PS. We miss you at work

  3. To Abha’s co-worker (and Abha). Responsibility finds you wherever you are–this is a lifestyle choice (read: running towards something, not running away). You go girl.

    Meggan

  4. I was gonna say something little bit stupid like come to Spain again so then I will be back and you can take me dancing to all those places you describe, but after readng the other comments I feel like it would sound not so cool…

    so I would say just make a timeline, if you still feel like you need some more time out to try, do it, but set a date and if it comes and you haven´t succeed or found what you wanted, then you need to get back to your career.

    (sorry if it is too long)

  5. Anonymous (1) and Aluap, thank you both for the encouragement.

    Meggan! I wish I could come give you a big hug.

    Co-worker: Not sure who you are, but if you knew me a little bit you’d know that I am the last one to run away from responsibilities.

  6. The answer lies in uniting your job and desire.

    I’d prefer to live my life to its fullest. Go to Spain (you know you want to..) and do what you want (Even if it just means hanging out with gay people drinking sangria) – you’ve understood simply enough that money isn’t the most important thing. Sure it seems that you’re running away from responsibilites but its your responsibility to follow your heart. Don’t think, just do it (TM?).

  7. You have not lost the plot. If anything, you are one of the few who is doing something worthwhile with their life… which is living it.

    Z

  8. Difícil decisión que sólo puede valorarse con mediana aptitud en tu cabeza. Puede que sea la opción de tu vida… o puede que no. En la vida pocas cosas son definitivas. Siempre es posible una vuelta atrás si se dejan las suficientes puertas abiertas. Visto así, los costes de las no-decisiones se hacen más pequeños.

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