Losers and jerks only?

There is a guy I know from the dance floor. He is one of those who are only tolerable in very small doses. He stands roughly at 4 foot 9, so when he dances in close hold with me, my chin is on his head. He is bald with a pot belly. He spells minutes – manuites – and although he dances well, likes to be spanked while dancing (please do not ask me to elaborate). I have nothing against him, but a conversation of any sense is practically impossible with him and he seems perpetually desperate.

So he calls me last night, completely out of the blue and this is how the conversation goes:

Guy: Hi sweety! how are you babe? where have you been? why don’t I see you these days, I miss you!

Me: Hey! yeah I’ve been busy with guests in town.

Guy: Ok, so when am I going to see you?

Me: Guess I’ll see you Thursday on the dance floor, right?

Guy: Well, I was hoping you would see me not only on the dance floor.

Me: (silent)

Guy: How about a candlelight dinner, some drinks, followed by a conversation of sweet nothings, dancing and then my place.

Me: (silent)

Guy: (silent)

Me: And what do you have planned for your place?

Guy: DVD’s ofcourse!

Me: Ofcourse.

Guy: Come on Abha, you are single, I am single – why can’t we get to know each other better?

I was truly hoping he was taking the piss, but turns out he wasn’t. Now when you are not at all interested, and somebody so bluntly has this conversation with you – what do you say?

I landed up laughing it off and saying that I will put him on the list of people who ‘want to get to know me more’, and when his turn comes I will call him. Yeah, conceited and stupid – but do you have a smartypant yet polite way to answer that?

My spontaneous thought to this was – freak, get off my back, it’s never going to happen, you are a loser. However, my post conversation thought was: sure he was trying his luck, why shouldn’t he, and at least he has the guts to be so upfront and direct about it. When was the last time that happened to me? I don’t think it ever has.

Now, the fact that whatever happens to me (like the above), happens with guys I want nothing to do with, ever, is more of a burst in confidence than boost and is a different story all together. It always leaves me wondering: why are the losers the ones who always try to get with me?

Sometimes I feel like I have a sign stuck to my forehead that says: losers and jerks only. *sigh*

3 thoughts on “Losers and jerks only?

  1. I love this post!
    I used to think the same too, even my friends said I seem to have a magnet for “weird” guys. When I studied in Barcelona, I rented a room to an old lady who lived with her teenage son. He never said a word to me, not even looked at me (or so it seemed), and suddenly one day I found a note in my room:
    “Tonight, at 12.00 I’ll come to your room
    If you don’t want me to do it, tell me
    Otherwise, I’ll come”. Signed XX
    !!!!
    I loved your friend’s plan for his place, though: DVD!!!
    Ha ha ha… The oldest pick up line where I lived when I was single was: “Do you want to come to my car and listen to music?” 

  2. I meant teenage grandson!

  3. An alternative: “I a very home person, so I will like to share with you the ironing. Can you come and doing?” Very, maybe not very diplomatic but you can get something in return.

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