Movie Review: Salaam-e-Shit

We couldn’t even bear to stay past the intermission of Salaam-e-Ishq.

All the 12 star-cast in this Love Actually rip-off film are annoying. Not much was expected from the likes of Ayesha Takia, Sohail Khan or Anjana Sukhani (who is she anyway?), but even Salman Khan, Akshaye Khanna and Priyanka Chopra are disgracefully annoying in the film.

Vidya Balan, the best actress in the film, could have given it some hope but is linked to John Abraham, the worst actor in the film, and is put into a coma right in the beginning.

Not to mention that they all look their worst in this movie. Vidya Balan looks fat, and John Abraham’s ultra-poker straight hair is all you see. You can see Ayesha Takia’s blackheads and a scar on her upperlip that is in more focus than anything else. Priyanka Chopra is not the glam girl I thought she would be on screen, Soheil Khan is just ugly and Salman Khan you just want to slap.

Ishaa Koppikar is the hottest but hardly has a role, and Juhi and Anil Kapoor actually look ok for their age.

The only exception was Govinda. He is awesome. He stays true to his reputation of really knowing how to make the dummest thing look genuinely funny. He is complemented by his onscreen American girlfriend Shannon Isra – who is a gori (white-chick) in a Hindi blockbuster who, for a change, can actually act. Or maybe our actors surrounding her in the film were so crap, that she was tolerable.

The script is awful, the scenes tried too hard to be funny. I laughed a lot, but at the film and at the people laughing with the film rather than at the film. More amusing than anything were the English subtitles. The movie name is translated to ‘love’s sweet salute,’ need I say more?

The music is the only saving grace. Great songs and the full-of-energy dance sequences are actually fun to watch.

As much as I was interested to see how all the 6 couples get ‘connected through fate and love’, I decided that reading the ending would be less excruciating than sitting through another two hours of absolute crap.

9 thoughts on “Movie Review: Salaam-e-Shit

  1. guess what! I just saw the movie and came home to sleep. just while trying to get some, happened to read you and am awake. Eyes wide open. Are you sure you wanted to see this movie? And in that case do you believe in surprises? Bcos I would think that someone like you would not go for this one without knowing t’at its more than twice as lengthy as love actually and without reading the reviews or rather knowing what to expect. Your review is too serious for the movie and hence falls out of place completely except for some of the acute observations you have made. For that matter do you really think kal ho na ho was seriously a seriou s movie.

  2. The reviews I had read/seen said the movie sucked too, and it’s a bollywood comedy so I hardly had expectations. I don’t analyse reviews before I go to movies. I watch pretty much every movie I want to.

    Did you like the movie? I can’t remember kal ho na ho.

  3. I agree the movie is crap. But I beg to differ with you when you say that nothing much was expected from artistes like Ayesha Takia….That is like expecting the worst before they can prove you otherwise! If you see Dor, you will realize that the girl has awesome talent…just needs a good director & an intelligent script to bring it out.

  4. Now that’s a bad review if I’ve ever read one.

    🙂

    Abha, do you have an email where I can contact you? Would like to chat a little about your stay in Spain if you don’t mind !

    Let me know.
    x

  5. Sky: You can email me at abha.malpani@gmail.com

    Send me an email and I will send you my cell number – we can talk if you like.

  6. Did I like the movie???
    ok, Actually I asked a different question before going for this BW flick. Will this one make a difference to my life? bcos whenever I have a sanity overdose amidst insanity, by the end of the week I look towards weekends because they dont count unless you do something completely meaningless. And bollywood has always been my messiah…life saver..heartthrob priyanka… The audi was jam packed and yes I am not in India. At the end I saw smiling rejuvenated desis just to realise that I will always have the bollywood presence to maintain the balance of my life even if I land up on moon!!!
    sorry sorry, I will cut the crap.What was the question by the way???

  7. Hello Abha,
    We are pleased to announce the launch of ‘Chakpak Picture Gallery Widgets – beta’ . Movie Picture Gallery Widgets are small HTML scriptlets which you can copy to your blog and they show nifty picture gallery for the configured movie. They are a neat addition to your blog entry.

    It looks like you are a movie buff, and frequently blog about movies. These Picture Gallery Widgets would be a great addition to the movie reviews that you write.

    To start just go to http://chakpak-widgets.blogspot.com/ Find the widget which you like. Copy the HTML scriptlet and replace the MOVIE_ID by the actual movie-id.

    We hope you like them. Please send us any feedback on the widgets and help us improve the widgets further.

    Regards,
    Chakpak Team
    http://www.chakpak.com
    http://chakpak-widgets.blogspot.com/
    Eklava Movie

  8. You didn’t like El laberinto del Fauno (Pan’s labyrinth) so maybe I would actually like this movie? 😉

  9. I really thought the 2nd half was pretty OK compared to the first waste of film reel. Not so funny as they imagined thouh…It WAS sentimental

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